Mmm

I'm stressed out but this sky made me feel lil tiny bit better :)

Caramel apple

Mmmm homemade caramel apple after 12hrs shift at E.R.

Some connection

My preceptor shift is over and now I really have to study for next week... if I don't get certain percentage,,, I will screw....

Yesterday, I found the paper with email address on.
I figured out it was from one of my patient.

Well, I poked him twice and missed it but he was so patient with me and gave me email address.
I just sent email and he wrote me back saying I will be a good nurse :)

Also, my preceptor told me so too.

just need more time to get used to it

My second semester, one of my professor asked me if I have any confidence in the patient's room.

I said no

Then she decided to make me come extra clinical days
I was so embarrassed and even cried

Since then, I had been traumatized to be in patient's room.
So I talked to my preceptor about it and try to force myself to be in patient's room as long as possible
also, I researched all meds before I gave them so i can explain... well that one didn't work out well haha
just because i couldn't remember so many at once.

I don't have confidence about myself in general.
I am always scared to death when first meeting people


anyway, i don't know what I wanted to say in this blog haha
Today, I looked up my RN license application for Illinois.
I haven't done anything yet because I want to focus on test next week
sometimes it freaks me out to know I will graduate and be more independent
I am scared of looking for job, going to the place where I don't have any friends and taking test...

So many paper works, homework, school stuff

but I wanna do something fun in Utah with my friends

then, if I get everything done, I wanna visit Japan.
It has been more than two years not to see my family.
If I was American, I would die haha

But now I think it's time to spend time with my family for a little bit
I really need it

handling tragedy

My preceptor was sent home around noon and I followed different nurse after.
She recently lost her 27 years old son and is a single mother of four.
She is good looking, always cute outfit (scrub)...
But I thought she is very cold person just because she is not a lovie-dovie person.

I had this nurse a year ago when I was told I was not doing good by my professor.
She encouraged me by saying that she was not doing well during nursing school.
Since then, I had a little special feeling about her. She is actually care about me not just saying.
I really respect her and actually wanted her to be my preceptor.

Today was her first day of working since her son passed away.
She brought her son's DVD with lots pics and videos.

I heard she found her son on the floor.

How terrible is that?
It is nobody's fault but she is a nurse and tried to revive him... and couldn't make it.
She was spaced a lot today but still working hard and cared about patients.
I love the way she treats her patients.

How would I react for loss of my loved ones?
She is a strong woman and I really respect her.


People have to go through so many tragedies but react to it differently


I had a patient who has to go hospice. Her family looked very disappointed but still act very cheerful.
I am always impressed by people.


人(human)
this letter stands for two people leaning on each other

human cannot live alone.
we lean on each other

That's why we are so sad when we lost other people...